IF THE WORLD DOES END IN 2012

The "apocalypse" will be heralded in by two immanent headlines:

1.) Glee Announces Episode Dedicated to Nirvana's Nevermind. Cobain Convinces God to Blow up World.

2.) Hollywood Producer's Get Rights to Catcher in the Rye, Salinger Urges Cobain to Convince God to Blow up World.



This is fun.

Dream Dare I Say, Nightmare?

I had a midterm in my Comic Spirit class yesterday and I had to write an essay about the Clever Servant archetype.

That might have something to do with why last night I had a dream in which I was Zach Galifianakis' assistant. If you can only imagine, my tasks included trying on these white nylon briefs to prove they were baby soft. I thought he was being a quarky taskmaster as a joke in my dream, but the irony of being demanding overshadowed the irony. His publicist yelled at me about the underwear and Galifianakis walked in just as I was showing the publicist with the clipboard that I was in fact sporting the baby soft undies. Thank goodness I woke up right after he told his publicist and I that he needed all of his body hair removed, and that we needed to figure it out, asap.

Stay out of my subconscious, popular culture.

WHAT HAPPENED TV, YOU USED TO BE COOL

I used to think all talk-format television shows were engineered to be a generic stage where actors/directors/musicians (or any combination of the three) could shamelessly promote their new movie, album, drug addiction, pregnancy etc. Although the TV/AD industry knew their purpose (to cross promote everything) the creators or guests on these shows didn't always seem to have a hidden agenda. The shift happened with the growth of the almighty MTV mentality. It's cheap to show music videos, so cheap that I can't believe it's not programming.


The other day, the happiest happy accident brought me upon my new favorite clip on the internet.* It's of Andy Kaufman on David Letterman doing his Elvis impersonation, but before he performs, he is sitting on the couch with three black men who he has, according to the clip, "adopted".



This clip is a great artifact of discourse on race and its so poignant and is so fucking important. Take Kaufman as an elevated outsider in terms of the media, an active participant with a critical awareness. He is wise to the machine of synergy. So wise to it that he could not help but to provide a figurative commentary track to his own claim to fame, a really great impersonation of Elvis. This is where I get really excited. Now Kaufman, a white male, is doing an impersonation of another white male who reached legendary acclaim in co-opting black culture, for better or for worse. Still, Kaufman along with his figurative manifestation of this said, here America, look closer at what we're doing.




*Subject to repeated repeals in the event that a new favorite clip is unwebbed.

Memories Can't Wait

October twenty six, two thousand and seven.

Charlie Kaufman came to talk to my film class in high school, I was paying attention a little bit. I remember a few things really well. First, my teacher told us to not be weird or loud, and to not make any fast and unprovoked movements, after all the man had an Oscar. I also remember Kafuman saying something along the lines of, I went to film school, but so did other people that you haven't heard of.

I did draw my all time favorite 'in class drawing' of the back of my friend Caitlin O'Malley. I wouldn't want it any other way.

Except, this was exactly two years prior to the discovery of my feelings for John Malkovich. No JM #'s 4 Alex.






♥

I THINK I'M IN LOVE

Looks like we've got a Deal(s)

"Kelley said like 95% of Kim's lyrics are about sex."

Listen to this really loud, especially if you can't sing along well to California Gurlz.

NO TITLE JUST LOVE

BIG UPS TO MY SURFER BOYS WEARING SHIRTS WITH NO SLEEVES SITTING BY KJAZZ THIS MORNING IN THE RAIN. IT MADE ME REALLY HAPPY. FIGHT 4 SUMMER 4 EVER.

Title 'Operation New Dawn' Outs President for Twihard

Team Edward

BYE SUMMER

This is YOUR chance to be MY hero!!!!!

Feeling valiant, brave, strong willed, determined? Boy are you in for a treat, girl.

I've been on quite a cleaning kick in my ill-ventilated bathroom (no windows!) So if you don't hear from me in awhile just follow the Clorox bleach vapors to my inevitably passed out self. Good job, in advance!!!

Happy belated birthday Macaulay Culkin

You are thirty! I had a really great dream with you in it at the beginning of the month, btw.

NEW RULE

THE ONLY ACCEPTABLE WAY TO ASK FOR ONES AMERICAN ONLINE INSTANT MESSANGER HANDLE IS SHAWTY WHAT YOUR AIM IS
SHAWTY WHAT YOUR AIM IS
SHAWTY WHAT YOUR AIM IS
SHAWTY WHAT YOUR AIM IS

SPREAD THE WORD

HOLLA ATCHA GIRL B

If I Only had a Twitter

I would have written this:

AUG 6 2010

SCIARTWITZ: R.I.P John Hughes, it has been one year but you broke the fourth wall into my heart and I won't, dun dun, forget about you!

GO BEACH

Shorty Want a Thug

The Sciarra Report

IN: BEING GENUINELY INTERESTED IN THE THINGS YOU WERE ONLY ONCE IRONICALLY INTERESTED IN.

FIVE MINUTES AGO: NERVOUS LAUGHTER AT THE MENTION OF THINGS THAT YOU ARE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN.

OUT: BEING IRONICALLY INTERESTED IN THE THINGS THAT YOU ARE GENUINELY INTERESTED IN.